Reaching Out: Day 2 💌 “The Autism Mother Letters”
A One Week Project Where I Reach Out To You - My Readers
🎨 Welcome
About my “Reaching Out” Project:
I’ve taken a week-long break from social media (Instagram & Facebook). I’d like to write here every day this week instead - and share 7 ideas (1 per day) for what I’m considering / sketching out / mapping for my next creative project.
The very act of sharing our art and creative ideas is so full of hope and vulnerability and courage…I could use an extra dose those things right now.
I’d love to know your ideas - about my ideas - for future creative projects. Read more about the project in my Day 1 “Last Drop of a Holy Drink” post.
Thank you for being here to read / respond - whatever feels best to you.
From one creative spirit to another - I’m sending love to you. Keep going. 🌿
Good journey,
Idea #2: The Autism Mother Letters
Affirmations for my Fellow Moms Raising Autistic Children
A series of 20 letters written from me to other moms raising Autistic children.
My two sons are both Autistic - Archie is diagnosed as level 2 ASD and Charlie is diagnosed as level 3 ASD - the most severe / profound / high need. They’ve both been in therapy and under a doctor’s care for Autism since they were 18 months old (the earliest diagnosis possible at the time) and are legally classified as disabled.
Illustrated using Canva elements with bright colors. Very tight design scope.
Each letter includes a letter illustration with a theme (like the rainbow theme below) and an affirmation that I use myself
The affirmations are meant to support and encourage.
I committed to writing 10 letters last year and I finished all of them. At the end of the 10 letters I decided I needed to wait to finish the project. So, it is half done.
I feel ready to finish the next 10 letters. I’m feeling more confident now.
Also, my Charlie Ozan is turning 10 years old this year, so it feels like a good way to motivate myself to finish before his 10th birthday in April.
I enjoy making the illustrations. It’s so fun! I get to use a different kind of creativity than my usual Lupita portraits. And so much faster to create.
My mission is to reach out to other moms who might be where I was - a few years ago - when the boys were younger and I felt like I was drowning every single day trying to take care of my sons. It’s emotional for me. It’s a difficult topic actually.
My concerns are that there’s so much dissonance and in-fighting within the neurodivergent community. I don’t like the negativity people come in with on this topic. There’s strong disagreements about word choice like severe, profound, low functioning, high need, etc. I’m not focused on this part of the advocacy but I understand others are and that it is important. It’s not my mission.
This is a social topic with fierce advocates and I’m not equipped emotionally to deal with this part. I don’t have the emotional buffer to confront this type of intense critique about my own family right now - or probably ever. I don’t know.
I’ve written about my Autism journey before and strangers feel they can say the most incredibly horrible things about my precious children. (Things like - they should die or be locked away - really awful stuff you can’t imagine anyone would say to a mother.) I want to protect my boys. Why would I subject us to this?
But I also want to be seen and better understood. I want my boys to be seen and better understood. I want others like us to be seen and better understood.
I’m a writer and artist and I have this opportunity to advocate for other mothers and families in a similar place as me and my boys. But (again) I can’t. With all the negativity. This part is tough for me.
But is my silence the answer here? I feel like my silence is not cool.
Each letter also includes 4 illustrations on a theme related to daily care, for example, bathing (like the photo below).
These illustrations give tips, ideas, knowledge.
They are meant to be honest, heartfelt, and fun.
A big change since I wrote the first 10 letters is that I was also diagnosed as neurodivergent - to the surprise of absolutely zero people who know me. :-)
Does this make a difference that I now have my own diagnosis? Am I an “expert” enough now to write about Autism?
Do I have the right to talk about the lives of my children given that they are minors and cannot give consent?
Do I have the right to write about my own life - including the daily care of my two disabled children that is THE major focus of my own life?
Is the risk of exposure / critique / hurtful comments worth the intended outcome of providing my fellow mothers of Autistic children with a note of support and encouragement? If I have the means to reach out - is it my responsibility to do so?
Target audience is mothers of Autistic children ages 0-10.
Also meant for family and people who support mothers to help show them and explain to them what daily care can include for a mother of an Autistic child.
I imagine (with great satisfaction) an exhausted mother handing my book to a well-rested family member offering up a well-intended but totally ignorant critique of this mother’s parenting style. 💗
“Here,” the mother of an Autistic child says. “Read this.”
I’d love to hear your ideas. Please share your thoughts with me in the comments.
🦋 New Cappadocia Book
The first Autism Brothers Book - Cappadocia - is now available on Amazon. Purchase here.
👩🏻💻 Social Media
I’m off social media again. The encouragement of my online community here on Substack has been so heartfelt for me. Thank you.
Please help me reach out by sharing this newsletter with someone you think may be interested.
❤️🔥
I like the idea of these letters very much. I'm sure that you have much to share that would be of value to parents in similar situations, and of interest to readers in general. It's also excellent that you've already written half of the letters. The shape of the book is emerging.
But I definitely see that the reservations you express are quite serious, and that the circumstances can even be hurtful. One possible way to address this situation would be to make these topics themselves the subjects of letters.
For instance, when you mention the fraught issue of word choice and advocacy, you might have a letter there (perhaps early in the book?) where you explain, as you say, "I’m not focused on this part of the advocacy but I understand others are and that it is important. It’s not my mission." Also, it could be part of your testimony (and likely the case of many parents in your shows that you are "not equipped emotionally to deal with this part. I don’t have the emotional buffer to confront this type of intense critique about my own family right now - or probably ever." This is honest, and worth reading. You are writing as a parent and not as a neuroscientist or political lobbyist or whatever.
Of course, this suggestion is easy for me to say. But I do believe this idea of a book of letters is a good one.